If the Mayans were right and Friday, December 21, 2012 marks the end of the world, we should be safe in using our remaining hours to lay down what it’s all about. I’m talking about partying. At rock concerts. Here’s your chance to share a memorable tale (or two) of your most rockin’ wasted time at a concert.
The Joy of Soloing
What makes for a great soloing face? We know one when we see one, but is there a combination of facial structure and timed facial expressions that ensures successful face solos?
The following clip of bluesman Freddie King got me thinking about the science of face soloing. We’ve touched on this topic in some detail a few times in the past, such as here, here, and here (the last link being NSFW), but there may be more to learn from Freddie King. I open this conversation to our researchers in RTH Labs, that is, you.
King’s got a face for every lick he plays. It’s as if the notes are sweating out of his face. Along with his timing and pathos he’s blessed with jowls and bushy sideburns. I think they bring a lot out in his face soloing.
Babyfaced Mike Bloomfield also gave great face. What he lacked in jowls he made up for by eagerly leaning forward at all times. The man aimed to please.
When was the last time you caught a live performance where the band was working it so hard, was so focused as a unit, that it was like witnessing a steam engine with the throttle open wide? A performance that induced in you a giant shit-eating grin? I’ve seen a lot of great performances, and many great recent one’s to boot, but I have to go back a-ways to land on a show that meets this criteria. Here are some examples of what I’m talking about.
Click here to see just how awful Mr. Koobas Drummer Guy was
Really, Mr. Koobas Drummer Guy? Really? You couldn’t bring yourself to at least pretend that you were rocking out with as much joyous abandon as your bandmates? You couldn’t take advantage of the fact that you didn’t actually have to play anything? You could have pretended to twirl your sticks, or play the drums with your feet, or at least bite your rockin’ lower lip every once in a while. Look at your band mates, Mr. Koobas Drummer Guy. Check out the bassist, throwing down some serious dance steps and — for Christ’s sake, he’s acting out the freaking lyrics back there! The weird blonde guitar player has got a shit-eating grin plastered across his face, and has — holy shit, what was that?! Did he just stop playing in order to bust a major Carnaby Street fop/dandy move? Singer dude has the serious rock lip biting ‘tude down cold, keeping the band from flying out of conceptual control. But you, Koobas Drummer Guy — you’re terrible. Where’s your energy? Do you even care about the song you’re pretending to play? Sheezus, you’re awful. Just hang it up, Mr. Koobas Drummer Guy. You suck. You’re ruining it for everybody. Booooo!
Are you kidding me? Is there anything in this occasionally “Teach Your Children” sound-alike/hoedown that Mumford & Sons performed on Saturday Night Live that’s THAT worth getting worked up over? The keyboardist does the best Meg Ryan fake orgasm of the bunch, don’t you think?
Good show.
Has anyone ever said the following you:
I hear [artist] puts on a good show.
Have you ever spoken that phrase? I never quite get what people mean when they say that. I often hear it applied to artists for whom I have absolutely no musical interest, like Lady Gaga or Bette Midler, or for really cheesy artists who only have a few songs I can enjoy hearing for the guilty delights of their processed cheese, like Neil Diamond. The funny thing is, even the people who say this phrase in regard to a musically suspect artist don’t seem to care for the artist’s music. I guess I’ve never gone out for an evening expecting a “good show.”
For me, music is music. Of course some performers are better on stage than others, but if I don’t like the music, how much can their stage presence affect my enjoyment of their show. What the fuck can Neil Diamond possibly offer me live, through his “good show,” I think to myself, when people say stuff like this. Does Neil tell great jokes or do a mind-blowing tap-dance routine?
Madonna is an artist who is purported to put on a “good show.” I actually like a few of her songs, but primarily, when people utter this phrase in regard to her, I imagine they’re saying she’s hot. Is that what they mean when they say Midler or Diamond put on a good show?
I look forward to your thoughts on this matter.
In a recent If You Can’t Say Anything Nice post Mr. Moderator submitted a video that featured aging pop fluffer Robin McNamara accompanied by two very fine back-up dancers on either side. What immediately came to mind is, this guy is literally “Hot-Dogging.” Yes, I know the term is rather sophomoric but I think it aptly describes a man inserting himself between two backup singers. This is very useful ploy to prop up a singer lacking in talent, such as Mr. McNamara; however, some of our heroes have used it to class things up a bit. Case in point is David Bowie in the following clip from Live Aid. Not only is the front line all female (singers and saxophonist), he goes for full hot-dogging at the 1:50 mark.
In my last band we had a song called “All Girl Band,” which told the story of a guy forming an all-female backup band, presumably to make him look like a ladies man. While this may seem a little sexist it has brought success to The Cramps and, errr, Tony Orlando.
Hot-dogging!
Are there any other examples of hot-dogging you would like to submit? Or is their perhaps a less graphic term you would like to suggest?
