Yesterday’s death of composer Marvin Hamlisch reminded me of one of the most annoying performances I’ve ever witnessed. Hamlisch, as you may have been reminded in reading about his life, adapted Scott Joplin‘s music for the fine Robert Redford-Paul Newman film The Sting. It wasn’t the memory of an annoying performance by Hamlisch or any other professional musician that has haunted me over the last 24 hours but a 2-hour performance of the song on the piano in our living room by a 7-year-old boy.
This was years ago. We had friends over for dinner. Our oldest son, who was also in first or second grade, had been taking piano lessons, Like any firstborn, he pleased his parents with painstaking renditions of the simplest 8-bar songs. He played something in the presence of our friends. They made the appropriate fuss over his performance. Then their son sat down to display his chops. This cherubic little boy banged out a perfect version of “The Entertainer.” We were dazzled and heaped on deserved praise. He played the song again, and we were delighted by his wind-up doll dedication. A few renditions later my ear-to-ear grin turned to horror. He kept playing “The Entertainer,” not pausing between takes, not varying his tempo or attack. It went on for a solid 2 hours as we tried to continue our dinner party. This became the most annoying performance I’d ever witnessed, topping (“bottoming?”) the self-indulgent preschooler behavior of Victoria Williams at a small club in Philadelphia in the mid-1990s and any other annoying concert I’ve seen since. More annoying than the time I saw New Order and the drummer did nothing but occasionally play a swishy hi-hat over programmed drum beats when he wasn’t up from his kit, literally standing directly behind the woman on keyboards with his arms wrapped around her front, placing her index fingers on the appropriate keys for the band’s simplistic keyboard parts.
To be fair, this young boy’s chops were astounding for such a tender age. To this day I’ve got nothing against this cool young man and son of great parents. However, 120 minutes of “The Entertainer” was 117 minutes too much of a good thing.
What’s the most annoying performance you’ve ever seen?
I look forward to your responses.
I don’t mind stage chatter within reason, but has anyone ever seen Chris Isaak? I saw him at George Washtington University’s Lisner Auditorium in the mid-90s and the guy played a few songs, but for what seemed like the majority of the show, he just talked and tried to be funny. Hands down the most annoying show I’ve ever seen.
First runner up — I also had a horrible New Order experience at First Ave. in Mpls. They played only 45 minutes (mid-80s) and boy, people were ticked off.
Second runner up — Marshall Crenshaw about five years ago — who sat in a chair for an entire show at a small coffeehouse. He just seemed like he didn’t want to be there. I’ve seen Crenshaw other times and he was great, so I had invited other folks to go with me and his lame performance this time around annoyed me.
Ok, but Hamlisch–may he rest in peace–was annoying, himself.
Most annoying performance I’ve seen–this would take some deep thinking but two that come to mind are The Alarm, those pathetic, sorry-ass, fist-pumping U2 wannabes, opening for Dylan in 1988, or Jewel, opening for Dylan approx. 10 years later. She yodeled. Mostly that’s what I remember. The horror.
Yeah, the guy is a deadbeat. Years ago I saw him at the Birchmere and he played all of 30 minutes. That’s it, no opener, encores, nothing – 30 minutes. I’d accept that from the 1966 Beatles, but c’mon!
Crenshaw, that is.
I saw Big Country and they played 18 minutes. I won the tickets so I was okay with that, but in that 18 minutes they played the song Big Country twice, and the singer got sick. I couldn’t believe The Agora made everyone leave
I saw Gordon Lightfoot for free, and he talked too much, broke a guitar string which he replaced onstage himself. It took him at least 25 minutes. We left at the intermission. How many 25 minute breaks does Gordon Lightfoot need?
Saw Chris Isaak around the time when he had that short lived (but mildly interesting) Chris Isaak Show. He was a ham. The banter and jokes were lame. What saved the show was his band Silvertone. They were the definition of tight.
I’ve always wanted to see Crenshaw live but he rarely shows up with a band. I’m not into that coffee shop vibe he’s got going now.
I don’t think he takes himself that seriously, so on the whole I had good time.
Last week my parents gave me comp tickets to see The Happy Together Tour featuring Flo & Eddie, Mickey Dolenz, The Buckinghams, The Grass Roots (!? ..they’re all dead) and Gary Puckett at our local casino . I went in for a bit of a laugh. I always liked The Monkees, The Turtles and The Grass Roots. I can take or leave The Buckinghams, but I went in knowing I would take a bathroom break when that lamewad Puckett came onstage. And boy was I right…
Gary Puckett was a pathetic goofball. He’s every bit as annoying 45 years later. Every line was delivered in his usual annoying trilly tremolo faux-soul voice. For some reason, I was the only one the audience laughing at this sad sack. I think it’s time to retire Gary, ’cause singing about Young Girls was creepy even when you were 20.
No Union Gap? Eff that!
I’m guessing Creed Bratton wasn’t at that show.
Wow not sure if I can’t beat the experiences written here. So not going to try. So with that note in mind here’s my experience. It was at the Philadelphia Folk Festival. My then boyfriend and I saw Don McLean sing Bye bye miss American Pie. Performance wasn’t bad except this was my man’s favorite song. He insisted on singing every verse in a loud, tone deaf voice of the indeterminable song.
Ugh, it sounds like your then-boyfriend’s performance may indeed top all those we’ve listed. I hate that song, even when sung by Don McLean.
As soon as I posted my comment, I remembered Creed is a surviving member of TGR. If he had shown up, that would have been headline news, since he’s had nothing to do with them since the early 70’s. I’m pretty sure he’s taping episodes of The Office anyways.
No, “The Grass Roots” were led by Larry Nelson who only started subbing for Rob Grill when he was ill. Also Dusty Havlin (?) on guitar.
Sounds like they should change the name to The Artificial Turf.
I had a girlfriend who did that at a Paul McCartney concert. That’s sort of encouraged nowadays though, much to my chagrin. If it’s an organic thing that can’t be controlled, ok, but bands seem to relinquish control of the song and let the crowd sing it. Feck that, I didn’t pay to hear the damned crowd!
Of course, the difference in my story was that the Paul songs she was monotoning were good.
I think I can beat that – I saw Pretty Poison play two sets at a local club and they played their big (only) hit “Catch me I’m Falling” at the beginning and end of each set and again as an encore…basically an extended melody of their hit.
But even better…A buddy of mine told me he saw Survivor in concert (I think the tickets were free) and he said they played Eye of the Tiger after every other song – apparently at audience demand.
Welcome to the show, ohmstead! I hope those Survivor tickets were not only free but included a meal, drinks, and noise-canceling headphones. However, maybe his attending that show was worth it for his witnessing Pretty Poison’s feat of playing their hit song 3 times in one show. Survivor’s record must be the 56-game hit streak of annoying set lists.
Mr. Mod – BTW – I dutifully checked the RTH Glossary and did not find a term to describe this particular condition (maybe I missed it?)…that is, bands playing the same song multiple times during the same performance owing to a lack of other material, crowd demand, or other dysfunction.
Hmmm…maxi-play? Overplay? Repetitive Song Syndrome?
This issue may not match the importance or drama of “holstering” or a “Rock ‘n’ Roll Iwo Jima” but I think it’s a serious enough threat to warrant careful monitoring.
Good point, ohmstead. The editors of the Glossary (ie, all of us) should monitor this phenomenon.