Jun 112012
I’m not posting this to start a “thread” or to invite discussion or argument. I know you’ll all agree with me on this one. I suppose if you want to list the reasons why this is the greatest album cover ever, that would be okay.
(To witness this cover in its full-sized glory, click here.)
I’ve got to say, in their time I thought these guys were such tools that I didn’t bother to look closely at what I thought was a stupid album cover. Looking at the cover in its full size, however, with a clear mind I AGREE. I never realized the band members we the people being portrayed in that shot. That’s excellent. That’s taking it to the limit. Thanks.
Has there ever been a bigger disconnect between an album covrr and the music contained inside?
Oh, I don’t know about that. Power and glory is power and glory, whether you’re talking about the warriors of the lost dragon kingdom of Numinoor, or the warriors of the Waffle House on route 220 South.
It reminds me of this one:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/7d/Gods-of-war-Cover.JPG
I was going to suggest Meatloaf “Bat Out Of Hell” (http://www.vintagevinyljournals.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/meatloaf-batoutofhell-cover.jpg), but I won’t. You win. That kicks ass.
What I like about it is that the band members haven’t let their weightlifting affect the music.
Following a good night’s sleep and reflection I’d like to say that this album cover is even better today than it was yesterday. I look forward to tomorrow.
That album cover says “We’re getting it on with Disaster and her younger sister Devastation underneath the bleachers at the local high school”, whereas musically all they can muster is “Flirtin’ With Disaster”. I am underwhelmed. They should be wielding pecan logs from Stuckey’s, not battle axes.
Since the greatness of the cover is already decided, let’s get to the important question: if all these guys – as depicted on the album cover – fought to the death in an enclosed arena, who would win? We’re basing this purely on how they appear on the album cover, and no dragon. Unless you can put together a convincing argument that Tommy-era Daltry Guy up front uses the dragon as a weapon, since we can’t see anything else on him.
Mod, this merely gives me the opportunity again to post this link to MH performing Flirtin’ with Disaster live in 1979 so you can verify that the cover depicts the band. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgNAfSENE68
My money’s on the guy standing in the middle, the one who looks like John C. Reilly.
As partial as I am to the guy wearing 1970s tear-drop sunglasses, I have to put my money on the guy at the far left. He looks devious to me — like he’d fight dirty. He probably has a secret weapon stashed in his boot, like one of those dagger things that you make a fist around, so that only the point of the blade pokes out between your fingers. He’d kind of circle around the fray, darting in and out from behind the nearest dragon, or bubbling cauldron, or crystal-winged elf-steed or whatever, just waiting for his moment to skewer you with the sai that he keeps concealed under his capelet. He’s not as badass as John C. Reilly, but he’s a survivor. The last guy standing on the dodgeball team; the guy that makes you go: “how did *that* guy make it to the end of the battle royale?!”
Are you talking about the guy crouching or the guy standing on the left?
I can’t figure out what’s going on with John C. Reilly’s weapon. It looks like an axe at first glance, but it’s coiled around in the middle. Is it some kind of axe whip? Or is he just so strong that he got bored and bent his axe like a strongman bending an iron bar?
Oh, my. Mod, this video is *required* viewing. First of all, it confirms my suspicion that the guy I picked is indeed a closet S&M dungeonmaster with a devious fighting style. You’ll see him on the far right… playing a FIREBIRD, of course. Next, you’ll want to pay careful attention to the masterful power & glory move deployed by the bassist at 4:20. Could this be the greatest stage-grab in the history of rock bassery? Lastly, this performance reminds me that the vocal money shot in this song — towards the end , when Joe Don Baker or whoever sing/shouts: “whomp-bop-bop-yeaaaah!” — is a really good one. It’s like the Florida Gulf Coast version of Daltrey at the end of “Won’t Get Fooled Again.”
One more thing: I now have a new item in my rock holy grail bucket. many years ago, in the early days of YouTube, I found a Molly Hatchet video that was one of the funniest things I’d ever seen. The song (of course) was lame, and the production values were terrible, but — it featured a climactic moment in which (I swear I’m not making this up) a muscle-bound dude in full Molly Hatchet-fighting-dragons regalia — including a weird full-face mask with viking horns — comes crashing through the wall of the dive bar where Hatchet is playing, on a Harley. I *think* the lead singer battles the viking guy before riding away with the love interest on the back of the Harley, but I may be remembering wrong. Was the viking guy secretly the lead singer guy? Hmmm… so long ago… I posted a link to the video on RTH Chess, but it seems to be gone now. A gleaming, solid brass RTH No-Prize to the intrepid Internet explorer who can track this item down!
It’s all that and more. But go to 3:43 and hit ‘pause.’ Frame capture, enlarge, greatest rock and roll poster ever as the three-way solo kicks in. And, yes, the “whomp-bop-bop-yeaaaah!” is epic.
I truly hope that this is not a product of your imagination.
Yeah that crouching guy on the left looks like the type of character that Bruce Dern would have played in the 70s (even though he physically looks more like F. Murray Abraham). Not the strongest or most overtly threatening of the bunch (that would be JCR), but a weaselly little shit who knife you in the back once you are no longer useful too him.
I’m impressed with the crouching Maurice Gibb lookalike as well — he exudes a certain confidence which I admire — but the secretly bat-shit crazy S&M dude is the guy standing behind him in the cape, with the creepy glasses.
The arrogance of that guy with the glasses is getting on my nerves. Sure everybody is all muscley and oiled up, but in general they’re being somewhat discrete about their manly offerings, presumably out of consideration for their female fans. The Sunglass Guy has the whole butcher shop on display. Not cool.
You make a good argument for your Hatchet Man, HVB. I will say that the one thing that concerns me regarding John C. Reilly is that like all great Irish fighters he’s bound to be hindered by a genetic trait shared by almost all: he’s probably a bleeder. (See Gerry Cooney, Jerry Quarry…) If JCR can’t finish you off in the opening rounds a slight jab near an eye could lead to massive swelling and blood loss. He’ll assure the ref he’s not badly injured, but you know how it goes.
The dude rides a dragon. A guy like that eats Chuck Norris for lunch. No way a mere mortal can compete in any type of combat.
I need a clarification on the Big Choice Poll question: please clarify who’s who here:
Dirtbag Teardrop Shades-Wearing Guy
vs
Arrogant Aviator Shades-Wearing Guy
As far as I can tell, there’s only one guy wearing shades on this cover — the dude showing off his package. My guy is the other glasses-wearing guy, but they ain’t shades.
What is behind them? Are those two moons? So they are outer space travelers, in addition to everything else? Maybe the band are monsters from the id.
Dude, good point! This shit is MUCH heavier than I ever thought. We may need to regroup here.
Also, I wonder if there are cows on their planet. Otherwise, their leather may be made of dragon skin, which is truly bad-ass.
Can you imagine how hot that planet must be, if they can lounge comfortably in their loincloths at night? Or are they leaning up against that dragon for a reason? Hmm. Creepy closet S&M guy *is* wearing a cape. Maybe he arrived late to the sitting for the painting, and hadn’t removed his outer raiment yet. Maybe that says something about band unity, come to think of it. I’ll need to go back and watch that 1979 video again.
I wonder how Molly Hatchet dealt with intergalactic time-travel while they were on tour? It must be tiring.
And what’s with the two castles? Do they live in one and are on their way to attack the other? Do three of them live in one castle and the other three live in the other castle and they’re just having some sort of block party?
Are they just perched on a rock or is that a tremendously small planet?
I’m not entirely sure why, but I always thought this was the greatest album cover ever:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_NhPYzF-mDyQ/SzEhWqE_jLI/AAAAAAAACNU/xjHoRk8Ad0w/s400/Pointed+Sticks-Perfect+Youth.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogeZBg0KexQ
You’re welcome.
YES! Thanks!
Now THAT’s a pointy guitar, Mod!
Judging from the two castle-y looking things, I’m guessing they’re stuck in a fishbowl.
Nice one, boston! If they’re in a fishbowl, are those two gleaming orbs behind them actually cat’s eyes?
Molly Hatchet sea monkeys?
I like the fishbowl theory, but it brings up a troubling Gödel-esque loop, that is, they are taking no prisoners, but they are prisoners themselves in their fishbowl and likely helpless without a filter and proper ph balancing. Completely at the mercy of their keeper.
Well! But note that the singer is “rescued” from some serious questions about his masculinity by the “Viking guy” turning out to be a hot blonde woman. Whew! What a crappy song, by the way.
… and the cat.
Dirtbag Teardrop Specs… Corrected.
I’m just glad the guy in the shades wasn’t wearing the jock strap in this 80’s video.
I think they may have blown the budget on the hot woman. The tough guys don’t look that menacing.
So, you know that Rembrandt painting, “Night Watch”? The status and amount the models paid to play is reflected in where they are standing, the amount of light on their faces, type of cool neck ruff, weapon, etc…
So this begs the question, who has the most power in the band? And how was it decided who got to ride the dragon? I’m thinking he’s the coolest member of the band – my bet for winning the take down. Or does it reflect more power and status to be standing oh-so-close to the dragon’s mouth: “Man enough to withstand the breath of a dragon”? Or is the manliest man the one guy macho enough to face the audience full face and chest on (and grimace about it) rather than that whimpy contrapuntal shit? I need to know this stuff. Especially when the band has a girl’s name.
That’s a serious Comment of the Month contender!
My money’s on John C Reilly guy. Look how powerful he is – his weapon is bent into a loop. Did he do that himself with his bare hands? The expression on his face is not complacent, it is the grimace of a man bursting with rage and power.
Also, I took a moment to read the Amazon reviews of this album and I enjoyed this comment: “This singer is so much better than that other guy who sings through his nose. Many of you may not be aware of this bit of trivia, but the other singer sang all of “Flirtin’ With Disaster” through his nose without moving his lips at all. His jaw was wired shut at the time due to an accident.”
Only poodle-cut guy down in front and thong+shades guy don’t have axes. Does this indicate confidence in their own badassery, or are they not cool enough to have earned badaxes?
Nice video. I haven’t seen a bass like that – the one with the short body that looks like a horseshoe crab – in an age. I think the bassist is Dirtbag Teardrop Specs guy. He should get a point for that alone.