Apr 222008
 

The global advertising industry has spent millions of dollars over the years trying to convince us that their cars, you know, *rock*. Whatever. It cannot be denied, however, that what you drive says a lot about who you are. With that in mind, I ask you to think of the most appropriate set of wheels for the following people:

Ted Nugent
Jonathan Richman
John Lennon
Brian Wilson
Prince
Arthur Lee
Iggy Pop
Andy Partridge
Ray Davies
Bob Seger
Dr. John

I look forward to your responses.

HVB

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  34 Responses to “Vroom Vroom!”

  1. Mr. Moderator

    Thank you for picking up on this gimme of a topic, Hrrundi! I had similar thoughts in mind, although I was thinking I’d ask Townspeople to list what Rockmobile they drive. I’ll take some time with your fine, fine list tonight, and I’ll share my own set of Rock ‘n Roll Wheels with you.

  2. mockcarr

    Ted Nugent – Sherman Tank
    Jonathan Richman – some kinda Plymouth
    John Lennon – can’t do better than that Austin Princess hearse
    Brian Wilson – GTO
    Prince – lil’ red vette, driven slowly
    Arthur Lee – Hybrid Civic
    Iggy Pop – late 60s Mustang
    Andy Partridge – Stanley Steamer
    Ray Davies – Rolls Silver Shadow with a built-in-stage
    Bob Seger – a rolling boulder designed by the Slag Brothers
    Dr. John – Edsel

  3. hrrundivbakshi

    Hey, mockcarr — GREAT answer for Partridge!

  4. BigSteve

    Come on, Jonathan Richman drives a Dodge Vegematic. It’s there in the parking lot!

  5. hrrundivbakshi

    I thought Richman “drove” a Big Wheel.

  6. Ted Nugent – Hummer, Baby
    Jonathan Richman – Some sort of “MG”
    John Lennon – Rolls Royce
    Brian Wilson – “409”
    Prince – Purple Conversion Van
    Arthur Lee – VW Microbus
    Iggy Pop – Dodge Viper
    Andy Partridge – Doesn’t Drive – to afraid
    Ray Davies – Jaguar convertible
    Bob Seger – Ford Mustang
    Dr. John – beat up, vinatge Volvo

  7. saturnismine

    i’m with BigSteve; Dodge Vegematic.

    easy / obvious ones would be:
    t-rex would drive a jeepster,
    keith moon would drive a bucket – t.
    steve mariott: a vespa!
    Artemis Pyle would drive the General Lee.
    Daniel Johnson: a speeding motorcycle: what else?

    but it’s more fun to find a car and then retro fit a rock star onto the car.

    for example, paul rogers’s rock prowess only warrants being able to put a down payment on an *AMC Pacer*…and the prick hates every minute of it.

    but dr. john? I’ve known him for years. Somethin’ says Dodge Dart. and I bestow that make and model with great envy, as a compliment!

  8. saturnismine

    16:52 third period: flyers 2, caps 2.

    vroom vroom…

  9. Mr. Moderator

    Ted Nugent: some kind of US pickup with a gun rack
    Jonathan Richman: he takes the bus with Ralph Nader
    John Lennon: He should be taking a limo; I don’t think he was fit to drive
    Brian Wilson: rides the short bus
    Prince: a Hummer is parked in his driveway, but he actually drives a Rav4
    Arthur Lee: hearse
    Iggy Pop: Ford Falcon
    Andy Partridge: wishes he could drive a 1968 Bristol 410, but fears the road and rides an old bike instead
    Ray Davies: 1968 Bristol 410
    Bob Seger: fully restored 1972 Chevy Nova
    Dr. John: Opel GT

  10. Mr. Moderator

    About 40 seconds left in this rare overtime power play. This is when the Flyboys really miss Knubes.

  11. Mr. Moderator

    Lupul steps up! FLYGUYS WIN THE FIRST ROUND! FLYGUYS WIN THE FIRST ROUND!

  12. saturnismine

    great series! the caps have some real stones. if they put up some sheckles and surround ‘vech with more talent, the east will be a dogfight between the flyers, caps, and pens for years to come.

    next up: les canadiens. the Habs are coming off a seven gamer, too.

    i know the flyers are dogs, but i’m looking forward to the tilt with montreal. revenge for ’76, baby!!!

  13. sammymaudlin

    Ted Nugent- Monster Truck
    Jonathan Richman- 2 wheeler
    John Lennon- hoofs it
    Brian Wilson- it had better have OnStar
    Prince- Whatever it is he’ll need a booster chair
    Arthur Lee- who gives a shit
    Iggy Pop- GTO
    Andy Partridge- horse and carriage
    Ray Davies- MG
    Bob Seger- Jag
    Dr. John- Alfa Romeo

  14. saturnismine

    sammy: your Brian Wilson car is hilarious!!!

    But Bob Seger’s from detroit, man. he aint drivin’ no jag!

  15. alexmagic

    Ted Nugent – Ted rides around on the back of a dinosaur, probably a velociraptor that he captured and tamed, shooting explosive arrows from his bow at the mutants who try to breach his camp and steal his womenfolk (This is after the nuclear apocalypse; Nuge survives it)

    Jonathan Richman – Plymouth Roadrunner, AM radio only

    John Lennon – He’d still have the painted 1965 Panther V Rolls-Royce, but the windows would be bulletproof today

    Brian Wilson –Driven around in the back of an ambulance like Jack Elam in Cannonball Run

    Prince – Batmobile, painted purple

    Arthur Lee – Would carpool with the 5th Dimension

    Iggy Pop – ‘77 Ford Pinto. It has never been washed. Hasn’t exploded…yet.

    Andy Partridge – mockcarr’s Stanley Steamer is just too perfect. Sir John Johns may switch to a flying 1921 Mercedes.

    Ray Davies – Weird, a Silver Shadow was the first thing I thought of, too.

    Bob Seger – Chevy keeps sending him pick-ups all the time, and Seger being Seger, he feels like he needs to drive them all or they’ll go to waste, so he drives a different Chevy every day, then leaves it with the keys in the ignition somewhere nearby somebody who could really use a car, then walks home. He really wishes he’d asked for money in that Chevy contract now.

    Dr. John – Rib truck with a camera crane attachment on top stolen from the set of Polynesiantown

  16. sammymaudlin

    But Bob Seger’s from detroit, man. he aint drivin’ no jag!

    I bet he is!

  17. Mr. Moderator

    The Seger news you’ve passed along is most disheartening, Sammy.

  18. alexmagic

    I happened upon that Seger link this morning, too, and then tried to find out if that last line was a joke. I hope that’s real, because I love the idea of Seger driving around in one of those Smart Cars. The possibility of crusading environmentalist Bob Seger is pretty great on its own, of course.

  19. saturnismine

    Sammy, you have done the rocktown a great service with your muckraking. I’m shocked and disappointed.

    “Makin’ Thunderbirds” indeed.

  20. sammymaudlin

    The truth can be painful.

  21. hrrundivbakshi

    Ted Nugent — One of those obnoxious hybrid SUV/trucks, like the Chevy Avalanche

    Jonathan Richman — An adult-sized tricycle, complete with sparkly vinyl “ribbons” hanging out of the handles

    John Lennon — I agree with whoever said Lennon was *born* to be driven by others.

    Brian Wilson — slightly hot-rodded ’57 Chevy BelAir

    Prince — in real life, he insists on BMWs. To me, he just looks weird piloting any kind of vehicle. Doesn’t he fly, or levitate, or something?

    Arthur Lee — sits in a shopping cart, waiting for someone to push him somewhere.

    Iggy Pop — Mustang GTK 500 fastback

    Andy Partridge — the train

    Ray Davies — 1967 Ford Cortina

    Bob Seger — Come on, guys — a Harley!

    Dr. John — Why don’t we let *him* tell us?

  22. I drive a Toyota Matrix. Stupid name, but very comfortable.

  23. Like everyone who lives and works in a city and is not a complete fucking idiot, I gave up my car and rely on walking, public transit and the glory that is Zipcar, giving me all the benefits of car ownership with none of the hassles. Damn right I’m smug. You’d be too.

  24. BigSteve

    I’ve lived and worked in two cities where I’ve owned, driven, and parked a car without any major problems. So who’s the complete fucking idiot?

  25. You tell me: the person whose monthly bills include, if not a car payment, then at least gas, insurance and maintenance, or the person whose total transportation bill for the month runs around $150, including subway and bus fare.

  26. BigSteve

    My gas + maintenance bill is much less that $150 a month, so I guess it’s the guy who’s smug about being willing to walk or wait for the bus even in the snow.

  27. No, I’d say it’s the guy who isn’t afraid of snow.

  28. Wait, that’s not right.

  29. I’m not saying that this attitude would work in a place like either New Orleans or Kansas City, neither of which has a particularly impressive public transit infrastructure, but regardless: if you live and work in a dense, walkable city with good public transportation and you own a car, you’re a complete fucking idiot. (And even then, that doesn’t apply to someone like, say, my late father in law, who had severe vascular trouble due to diabetes and couldn’t walk more than a block or two.) Since those standards don’t apply to either of your cities, BigSteve, there’s no need to be defensive on the topic.

  30. BigSteve

    I am afraid of snow. My point was just that there’s more than one kind of city. And btw after I make my 2 mile/10 minute drive home from work, everything I need — groceries, bank, post office, drug store, gym, bookstore, many restaurants and coffeeshops, even bars and music clubs — is within a few walkable blocks from my apartment (though I don’t always walk, depending on the weather, because all of these places have readily available parking). I just lucked out, so I’m not smug about it.

  31. BigSteve

    PS. My wheels — beige 2000 Mazda Protege — do not go with rock.

  32. hrrundivbakshi

    “…New Orleans or Kansas City, neither of which has a particularly impressive public transit infrastructure…”

    Who knew that G48 was an expert on *this* topic as well?

  33. Blame my wife, a well-traveled woman who does not drive. You learn these things.

    You know what city doesn’t get enough credit for a really surprisingly good public transit system? Denver. Denver’s public transit is really quite nice.

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