"Would you like a carob shake with that order?"
The journalistic artist feature article conceit of beginning the piece with a description of the artist’s meal in whatever swank LA/NYC/London eaterie has long bugged me. Do I in any way care that Brian Wilson was eating a “turkey Reuben” and sipping a “diet Dr. Brown’s soda” while discussing his new album of Gershwin covers with some hack from Rolling Stone? Do I learn anything other than the fact that a) Wilson’s a wimp for eating a turkey Reuben and b) the diet soda’s not going to offset jamming any kind of Reuben down his throat? I think not.
But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe these artists actually rock what they eat.
Please describe the meal and drink that any or all of the following artists would be “munching on” at a hip LA/NYC/London eaterie not if but when you interview them for Rock Town Hall.
- Donald Fagan
- The Boss
- Sting
- Chrissie Hynde
- Chris Squire
- Polly Jean Harvey
- Nick Lowe
- Craig Finn of The Hold Steady
- Eddie Vedder
- Rod Stewart
- Hamish Stuart
- Bob Seger
As a bonus question, what would be caked in Walter Becker’s Beard?
I look forward to your responses.
Donald Fagan–Cheese lamb
The Boss–Fried chicken livers
Sting–Chili Cheese Hot Dog
Chrissie Hynde–Salad, of course.
Chris Squire–Eel Pie
Polly Jean Harvey–Key Lime Pie
Nick Lowe–Small children
Craig Finn of The Hold Steady–Cheese and crackers
Eddie Vedder–Trusty bottle of wine
Rod Stewart–Fish n chips
Hamish Stuart–Tofu burger
Bob Seger–Chicken fried steak
As a bonus question, what would be caked in Walter Becker’s Beard?–Remants of a turkey leg.
TB
1. Donald Fagan – Sushi
2. The Boss – Hot dog or a hamburger depending on his mood
3. Sting – Extracts nutrients from the air while performing advanced tantric yoga techniques.
4. Chrissie Hynde – McDonald’s Veggie Burger (Note: I had one of these in Amsterdam once. It’s more disgusting than you think it would be)
5. Chris Squire – Crepe
6. Polly Jean Harvey – Most of her peers, for breakfast
7. Nick Lowe – Cucumber and watercress sandwiches
8. Craig Finn of The Hold Steady – Bruce Springsteen’s leftovers
9. Eddie Vedder – Wine
10. Rod Stewart – Chateau Briand and a bottle of 40 year old Château Mouton Rothschild
11. Hamish Stuart – Haggis
12. Bob Seger – Meat and sometimes potatoes
1. Donald Fagan – Orders something with grass and protein solids, but spends meal folding and creasing paper cocktail napkin.
2. The Boss – The “Goodwill of The People” plate.
3. Sting – his own nutritious aura.
4. Chrissie Hynde – Doritos that were in her bag.
5. Chris Squire – Siberian Khatru Omelet.
6. Polly Jean Harvey – Seltzer without lemon.
7. Nick Lowe – Tripe.
8. Craig Finn of The Hold Steady – I didn’t see him. Did he even show up?
9. Eddie Vedder – Grubs, mostly.
10. Rod Stewart – the canon of tin-pan alley greats, but then he spit them out unchewed.
11. Hamish Stuart – krill.
12. Bob Seger – Tom Cruise’s underpants.
In Walter Becker’s beard? small bones.