I don’t know if you’ve ever felt this way about somebody, but although tv actress Eva Longoria meets all my objective standards for beauty, I find her completely lacking in sex appeal. I’ve never looked at her on tv or in a still in a magazine and felt the slightest stirring of desire, and that’s weird. It’s not like I have a beef with her persona or acting chops (which is why, for instance, I find the similarly should-be sexy Natalie Portman less sexy than most mannequins) because I’m pretty much unaware of both. I look at this objectively beautiful woman whose beauty is in a range that I typically find beautiful and feel…nothing.
This got me thinking about whether there’s a rock ‘n roll artist who meets all my expected criteria for greatness yet who fails to move me in any way. I’m working on it. How about you?
Joni Mitchell. As a big Dylan guy, I have always felt like I should respond to her work as well. But, a couple of songs aside, I don’t, I never have, and I seriously doubt I ever will.
A borderline case is Yo La Tengo. I like some, but mostly I am unmoved, even though, apparently, I should be way into them.
I could point to bands like Husker Du or Sonic Youth or Pixies who I am obviously supposed to like (based on what many of my friends with similar tastes like, critical response, etc., etc.) but who do absolutely nothing for me at all. I tried. Or slightly more recent bands like Sloan who are supposed to be everything I would ever like in a band but isn’t.
It isn’t that I think any of these are terrible, any more than I find Joni Mitchell terrible. But they do not connect with me on any level.
That said, I kind of like Natalie Portman. But Eva Longoria? Nothing.
At the end of the day I don’t suppose I have a defined expected criteria for greatness. I can generally articulate why I like something or not but have been, perhaps, insufficiently introspective as to determine whether that amounts to a coherent system or list of criteria. In a way, I hope not.
Sloan is a good one. For a long time Pavement was in this category for me, but their reissues, despite being way too full of extra stuff, have hipped me to their charms.
Harry Nilsson is probably my biggest blind spot.
I agree with all of the bands misterioso mentioned except for Yo La Tengo. I really like two of their albums.
I would also say that I am confounded by my lack of appreciation for X. I like all of the individual members and it seems like the kind of music that would be right up my alley. But ultimately, I think their songs, with the exception of one or two standouts, are really subpar.
Yo La Tengo (I too like a couple albums, but I feel they are way overrated by the entire indie-rock universe), LCD Soundsystem, Robyn Hitchcock/The Soft Boys, The Decemberists, Spoon… I could go on all day, probably.
Yeah Spoon. I’ve tried but I don’t get them at all. They fit into the same category as Modest Mouse and Death Cab for Cutie for me. I guess I respect them, and don’t hate them, but I listen and I don’t hear what other people hear. They sound like generic indie.
As a pretty big Nilsson fan, I can understand why people might not like him. His voice was incredible, but he had certain stylings that are maybe… affected? Not sure which word to choose. I also wonder if Donny Hathaway’s singing voice, with the vibrato and deep baratone, is a hangup for people who would like him more if he were a tenor like Stevie.
My 1st thought upon reading this was that recent Mystery Date band, Crabby Appleton. They were described with all the right parts but I listened to the tracks and wasn’t moved enough to comment. But they are a real rock n roll footnote.
I can’t get personally invested in Simon & Garfunkel or Simon’s solo stuff. You can hear the intelligence at work but it never grabs me. I also sometimes think I should give the Black Crowes another try but I always wind up back at blah.
Black Crowes are a good one for me – and you describe it the way I feel about them – because they contain a lot of elements I like, they’re good at what they do, but they don’t move me AT ALL. This is different for me than how I react to some other bands mentioned that I would think I should like, such as Yo La Tengo and Spoon. I often have a negative reaction to them. The true sign of the Eva Test is having no reaction whatsoever.
The Strokes. They have the NY address, the LP collection, the clothes, the guitars, they have cool rock friends, the “Little Steven approval”, but they leave me cold.
Black Crowes are my home boys (Marietta GA) and I played a bunch of shows in high School with Mr. Crowe’s Garden, their early incarnation.
Mr Crow’s Garden, eh? Did you happen to know a guy named Paul Gray? Guitar player but I think he played bass for them for a bit.
Tom Petty. And I’ve wanted to like Mission of Burma and Wire — They have the cool, tightly-wound feel of other bands I like … but they just don’t move me.
Mission of Burma fit into this category for me too. Although, I must admit that I haven’t listened to enough of their stuff to truely slot them in here. After reading a description of their sound, and hearing people rave about them for years, I downloaded a few songs and was promptly nonplussed.
Yo La Tengo – a band that is “eh” on album, but so good live. I became a true convert seeing their live shows. The same goes for Teenage Fan Club, esp. their most recent release which was blah to listen to but then wonderful live.
I’m still not pitching a tent in the camp of the Rolling Stones. I can appreciate them and like some of their singles, but just don’t have that heart swell that it seems that so many of you do. Even more so – The Band. Boring.
I enjoy Natalie Portman’s work too. Her potty mouth Rap song that she does w/the Lonely Island is comedy gold!
How about the Mekons?? I have made numerous attempts at getting into them, only to be left scratching my head. But people who’s opinions I trust, think they are the second coming.
The Mekons are interesting for me. I really like ONE of their albums, Honky Tonkin’. I also like some of their early singles, but for years I couldn’t warm up to any other full album. They put out a pretty mellow album called Natural, I think, that I like a lot, so after 30 years I can say I like 2 of their albums.
I would have agreed with The Band until fairly recently. The 70’s Hits compilation was boring. Was it poorly sequenced or too much Robertson to the exclusion of the other guys? “Big Pink” and “The Band” are both better listens.
The first two albums and the live albums are pretty much all that matters – and matter a lot they do, for me, at least. I know plenty of fine people who don’t get them, but surely starting with a hits collection is less-than-satisfying.
Great topic. Eva Longoria is obviously not without certain charms, but she seems like an automaton or stepford wife and totally leaves me cold.
I am an alt-country head but have yet to get through an entire disc by My Morning Jacket or the Drive By Truckers without needing to skip at least half the disc. Another good thread might be artists that you can’t totally embrace, but could make a killer 75 minute burn. These two would fit, as would Ron Sexsmith, Yo La Tengo, Sonic Youth and the Grateful Dead.
And their album, “So Good It Hurts” is one of my favorites, ever! It includes a cover of “Heart of Stone;” I didn’t realize at the time that it was a cover.
Machinery, we reach!
Wow, cdm, I’d have thought you’d like X, but I think you’ve mentioned before that you struggle with them. Every time I play one of their albums I think, “Why don’t I listen to this every day?” I think when I play More Fun in the New World, I listen to it at least a second time, every time I play it.
“Stepford wife” is the PERFECT description of her, teek! I like your thread idea, by the way, and will post that in its own space.
I’m game. I will have to check those out.
Drive By Truckers have some great songs, but most of their Cds are way too long (70 min+). I’d start with The Dirty South. It may also be that you don’t like all three singers/writers (may be why the cds are so long)